You crave something pure. It doesn't matter what it is, just something pure. Whether it be creation, destruction, love, indifference, fear, peace, you wanted it to have purity. It drives you crazy, it lends itself to your brokenness.
And when you can't find it, you think you're going insane. You think the world turns against you, that it is persecuting you, taking you away from real happiness, real fulfilment.
Yet all it ever was, was your desire, your need, your endless ambition for something pure.
You are not broken. You are simply living in fragments.