zed cafe

Poor Little Mind

2011-04-11T02:33:00.001+10:00

Were you homesick for a world of pain?
Lifted from misery to expand
And travel beyond the walls in your mind;
Was there burning in the sunlight?
Night shifted in shadows and rain
Brought the sound of notes into dawn;
Are you so elementary?
Subject to the mirth of the ignorant
The passions of the absurd and lonely;
Did they mean so much to you?
That bearing weight and shallow hope
Was richer than a life made by you?

Zian Silverwolf.

Reincarnation

2011-01-12T04:16:00.000+11:00

Pulsating from images within,
I strike - the force of the blow
Breaks and shatters reality
And I am there, in the void....
Waiting to imagine.
A thousand dreams and nightmares
Await me on the threshold of another journey
And while I cram the total into my mind,
The hand watches, wavers, then wanders
Across the page, into the new world....

The waters break and there is a child renewed -
Not on the page, but in me,
Another vision given birth inside me
Only a shade of that truth brought to reality,
Crazed world of insanity -
A figure, a cartoon, a monster or god;
Only I see the metaphor,
Unless I can bring it to life, make it breathe,
Clean away the blood and tears,
Wipe away the doubt and fears,
Solidify the moment, life on ice -
It's never going to be enough,
It's never going to end.
Which means that I will be reborn,
Through every vision, again and again.

Nothing Personal

2010-12-08T23:33:00.000+11:00

Allow the changes.
Things grow, shed, morph and transform
For only in movement will they continue.
The path is not yours; it is there for you.
The journey is in the mind
For it is the spirit that travels.

Forget perfection - you are not.
There is chaos in the order that must be,
But deconstruction is not creativity.
Choices made were not yours in entirety -
You are here. In reality.

The myth is written, and you swallow whole.
The lies are spoken, and you make yourself in their image.
The truth is broken into cliches and paradigms of virtue.
It is your illusion, for you to use.

Fairy tales are told and you listen
Made bold in your decision to be legend.
Scripts you write, but there is no one to rehearse them.
This is life, not the book of the world.
Words will fail you in the coming of the light.
Words that are not yours will never prove you right.

Nothing was ever personal. You just happened to be there.

Lyrics - Against the Wall.

2010-12-04T01:45:00.000+11:00

It isn't the moment left behind,
Or the memory within the mind,
It isn't the past, or what's been said,
It isn't the world inside my head.

I lean against the wall
Wondering if I can feel anything at all.
I smash against the stone,
Seeking more than flesh and bone,
Hoping to define more than the mind.

Each breath is waiting
Every second is anticipating
Each corner is relating to
Every possibility renewed.

I lean against the wall
Wondering if what I say means anything at all.
The shadows that I make
Don't seem like any action I can take,
Hoping to find more than just the sun.

In a straight line, just confusion,
In a circle, there's illusion,
In a square, there's retribution
In a spiral, evolution.

I lean against the wall,
Wondering if you know that I am here at all.
Do you see this world of mine
Or is everything in your own space and time?
Is that all you can find?

Judgement - Mankind's Last Word

2010-09-29T22:08:00.000+10:00

I am angry
Seeing apathy in motion,
An open sore and twisted ocean
False words on painted faces
Where economy erases
Definition.
Suck your platitudes like lollies,
Revel in the constant follies
Your devotion to myth as science
Grates my cheese and self-reliance
I am whole, but you would eat me,
For it's not enough to cheat me
Shovel it, there's no denying
That you're busy seated crying
'Justify and tell me why'
While I break your mirror, death-defying...

Alter your illusion, save confusion
If I get tired, it's not diffusion,
I am the panic in your rose-glasses,
The absurdity, the farces -
Take a chance, get off the pony,
Before you judge yourself as phony,
This is life, not bloody Sony,
Stop marketing yourself to me
I don't buy unless I need.

Wag your finger, I'll wag my tail,
I don't tell people they are frail,
I don't cheer when someone falls,
I don't jeer at imperfection, your defection
Is your call.
Mind the stairs, I'll mind my business
There's enough inside the limits
To produce for me infinity,
Beyond the mind of the killing kind;
Generosity that's witless is as
Vicious as cruel ignorance -
Don't try to break me when I bend,
I'll only stand up and defend,
My right to be here to MY end.

As myself, I don't deny you life.
Confirming you is not my validation
It is the constipation of a world
Still seeking affirmation;
"Please me and be yourself"
I hear the shrieking child,
The cry of humanity gone wild,
The enlightenment of words that are not
Understood or heard.
Logic overridden by a mask of the unforbidden -
"Let go, be free, because I have given you permission."
Fix-it man with the can-do can of glue and twigs -
Fix what when nothing is broken?
Words are meaningless to be spoken
When they frame and limit and frustrate
The natural growth, the living token
Of a life.
Don't teach life through wisdom -
It's just a reflective prism,
Breaking light into colours,
Getting eyes to see wonder,
Be refracted, not reflected,
Be in awe of man's perspective -
Through it all, there will be judgement.

Emerge

2010-07-30T02:31:00.003+10:00

Revelation of open air,
The body brought bare,
Surrounded in image
Buried alive
The sound of sight,
And all that makes light -
Could it blind one who breathes?
For mortal mind and wound are one
In the world's nest of rages,
Summoned by ages
Detail the cages
From which we emerge......

Zian Silverwolf.

Revelation #4603

2010-06-10T04:04:00.002+10:00

Broken face, I don't remember you.
Soft voice in darkness, you are gone.
Too many memories made without you
Too many days have passed alone.

Hollow mind, you didn't make me,
There was a soul here before you.
Hidden paths already taken,
Dances danced in many shoes.

Mirrored wall, I was mistaken.
Choices made beyond the veil.
But it is the tale of the forsaken
That is written all too well.

One hundred names, one hundred faces,
They are so different to my mind.
They walked away to different places,
I walked alone that I could find

There is no power in denial.
There is no fear when all is done.
There is no need to hear your voice now
You are gone, yet I have won.

Loose Ends

2010-04-12T23:50:00.003+10:00

I can embrace the madness,

And put away the sadness.

The story's always ending,

So I can stop pretending.

I'm here now,

I found how

To stop the fraying, keep from straying.

I held on

For too long

Still hesitating, always waiting, now I'm breaking....

I can give you everything you need,

But it's not in what I give that you receive.

Only what I take can make the difference

Leave you free to feel the love and go the distance.....

A life that's never-ending

And so I'm ever-mending.

I walk away from silence

To taste my inner violence.

A sharp blade

I won't fade

Away to nothing, see me standing here.

Still bleeding,

I'm feeding

On all I find inside my mind, he is my kind......

I can see the sun, in the wintertime,

I can see the rain, even when it shines,

I can see you, now that I'm no longer blind,

A poem for.....

I walk the path that I know

And chase away the rainbows.

The anger won't deny me

The danger still invites me.

I'm only,

Not lonely,

For there's still the moon and shadows of the night.

I'm restless

This mess is

An empty blanket, ripped and rank and I won't thank it.....

And the sun will keep on shining,

And I will still smell the roses,

And the music keeps on playing,

While the world goes through it's poses again.

That's what it's like, to find a friend.....

oh yeah.

lyrics

In The Summer

2010-01-29T22:43:00.003+11:00

Sky-born clouds paint day

As stars and moon paint night.

Rising sun at dawn breaks silence,

Falling dream is memory's flight.

Footsteps haunt corridors in sleep

Scented whisper of a name is the ghost.

Hollow laughter stalks shadows after midday,

Cluttered emptiness is left for the host.

Shaken soul awakes in the evening,

Matted hair and eyes filled with sweat.

Ripped from shallow nightmares distant,

Staggering from the echoes of regret.....

It's too hot to sleep.....

Your Way

2009-12-31T02:02:00.003+11:00

Many paths walked

And avenues wandered,

Problems I've solved

And puzzles I've pondered.

A life lived in answers,

But the questions unknown,

The journey is endless

When you continue to grow.

Eagles have eyes,

But the present cannot.

When none know your history

They don't know what you've got.

What you've earned with your efforts

What you've paid to pave the way.

Who you are from your learning,

Where you've been in your day.

Take a page from your future,

Know your ways with a smile,

For where you travel next,

Only you know the miles.

And for the blind present

That knows nothing of you -

It is their disadvantage

When they assume what is true.

A Memory

2009-12-13T02:12:00.002+11:00

Delusion,

You sit like a thorn in my mind,

You ache like a muscle torn,

You moan like a whore at work....

Dissolution,

The night is clear as day,

My dark friend went away,

Music brought me absolution....

Performer,

Weave a spell for unbelievers,

Tell a story like a seizure,

Give 'em hell for secrets hidden.....

Singer,

Trapped and born, wrapped in scorn,

Lit by blazes, warped by hazes,

Your throat is now my trumpet.....

Loner,

You were always on the stage,

Unwashed and slightly dazed,

For your mind remains a maze.....

Woman,

Hellbent fury, sound and violence,

Never visited by silence,

It is your sound that heals your world.

The Storm

2009-11-20T21:42:00.002+11:00

A restless heart beats in the night,

A lonely hand scratches with a pen in silence.

Quiet candles softly flicker in the gloom,

And a clock ticks dreadfully,

Beats time sinfully,

A word turns to an image of doom.

Wandering eyes search dark corners

Turning inward, seeking phrases,

Fettered by letters and a marching mind,

And the rain starts painfully,

Thunder rolls disdainfully,

And the rhythm of the darkness is unkind.....

"Dear Mum,

The power is out again due to another storm...."

In The Desert

2009-10-29T22:40:00.002+11:00

Wandering through the desert dunes,

Winds shifting the sands,

Making roads with its hands;

I burned for water,

As the sun burned my shadow,

And dust felted my mouth,

While heat turned me hollow -

Mirage teased my eyes,

Sought more water for tears,

Yet I walked on for years,

I broke the silence

And howled at the moon

I was swallowed by darkness

A moment too soon.

Twilight

2009-09-08T21:07:00.003+10:00

'Twilight'

The sky grew dark,
The light grew dim,
And only stars could see
The world turned blue,
With twilight hue
Around the lonely tree.

The water stair
Flowed without care
As silence hurt the night.
Knowing by day
The world would awake,
And be restored by light.

ZS

Evasion

2009-08-21T22:41:00.002+10:00

Sweet moon, fail now to dog my steps
As I blunder in darkness,
Stumble and stagger,
Weaving your light blinds me to madness.

Let your rays fall onto oceans and deserts,
Forests of treetops,
Fields of long grasses,
Not on the road that I must now travel.

Bring me the shadows that I know as home,
Candles and muses,
Paintings and incense
Light should not follow me as I roam.

Next time I won't drink the cab fare....

Sorrowful Heart

2009-08-13T23:48:00.002+10:00

Sorrow broke the savage heart,
For denied was it to thee,
And rage was caught all unawares,
Within a dying sea.
Mirth could not give it succour,
Nor pity mend the jagged tears,
And nor could the stars of darkened night
Bewitch to light the hopeless stares.

No breath of wind could move the weight,
No blow could break its hold,
And stillness rocked the heart to sleep,
And dreams of bitter cold.

One day I'll find my hairdryer again....

Beyond Time

2009-07-29T23:43:00.003+10:00

Broken words lay scattered on the floor,
Shards of glass from the clock
Lay weeping by the door.
I opened the gate and swept all bare,
For there was no way out
With all that lying there.
Rain came and washed away the night.
I slept with heavy heart
Yet awoke with no regret.

A fresh page, unending lines,
This time the poem is all mine.
No hour leaves my sight again,
No minute wasted by the pen.
The book I write has truth for its spine
Bound and tempered beyond time,
And I shall rest here in its pages,
Without the sorrow of the ages.

Past and present are within.
Only the future begins again.

My Wave

2009-07-13T20:36:00.002+10:00

It's a big ocean.
As my wave carries me out to sea,
Away from the shore,
Away into the biggest blue,
I can hear the world turn to water.
Nothing but the restless tide,
Flowing in, flowing out.
Here, I am alone.
Without doubt or fear,
Without false hope or
Broken dreams.
Waves crest and roll around me,
Yet the wave I ride is my own.
Ebb and flow, I roll on with the ocean,
No need to remember,
No fear to lose again,
For here, I am as the water;
Timeless.

For home is where the heart is.

I Need You

2009-07-02T19:26:00.002+10:00

Close to me.
So close that I will know you.
Cover me.
I want to know a world inside of you.
Surround me.
That the infinite around me is of you.
Talk to me.
So the voice inside my mind is you.
Believe me.
I need you because I love all that is you.

I love thunderstorms.

I Promise....

2009-06-23T20:15:00.002+10:00

Fear not, I am here beside you
Ever faithful, ever loyal,
I shall abide here by you,
And keep my heart for you.
Keep your freedom and its echoes,
As you delve into your sorrows,
For the day you find tomorrow,
You will find the limits you love.

Keep forever walking
On the roads that will not find you,
Let your loneliness remind you
What you yourself forsook.
Let the past become your leader
For it is all you ever trusted,
When you're broken, bent and rusted,
Look around you, I'll be there....

Right after I tour Europe...

Remorse for My Loss

2009-06-11T21:25:00.004+10:00

Pain, enduring heartache,
For that which was loved, is still loved
Is lost.
Memories and burdens of the past
Mingle in tears shed
Raining down on fragments and shards
Of my beloved,
A passion-filled bond, a union without measure
And in a moment, all has been broken.
Guilt strikes me like a blow,
And all that I revered
Now lies shattered at my feet.
In a time of complacency,
I broke faith with my love.
Where once my lips were touched
With a blessing, a scent that inflamed me,
All is now derision and blame,
All is now pieces and shame,
All is now ended.

And it was my favourite colour lipstick too...

Beyond My Control

2009-05-25T19:52:00.003+10:00

Lover, sit before me where I can see your soul
Challenge me with saddened eyes,
Bend beneath your burdened mind
And hold before you the heart of the world.
Trick me with your broken chords,
Tie my thoughts with care and woe
And bring to my gaze the agony,
The chaos loose that I cannot end.
Trouble me with your hurt and
Clench the fists of my rage
For I would seek to destroy
That which could hurt you.
I would seek to destroy
That which would punish you.

Can I get you another coffee?

Twilight At The Harbour

2009-05-16T22:09:00.003+10:00

Violet covers the moon in an early sunset,
While grey begins to cover the sea,
And the white caps of the breakers
Are all that is left to show the waves.
Coarse sand shifts in the twilight
Where footprints led to the cliffs,
And a lone dog barks in the distance
As the ships slowly move into night....

Anyone know how to light this barbeque?

A Little Ditty

2009-05-07T23:38:00.002+10:00

To be sung to Barry Manilow's CopaCabana....

'Her name was Lola
She was a show cow,
With yellow flowers in her hair,
And a tail right down to there,
She could meringue,
And do the cha cha
While she tried to be a star,
She didn't see the coming car,

The car was red and black,
And Lola stared right back
There was a scream behind the wheel
As it drove off-track

In Wodonga, oh yes Wodonga,
Home of the biggest sa-le ya-rds
In the southern hemisphere,
In Wodonga, oh yes Wo-dong-a,
Music and mooing
Are so time consuming
In Wo-dong-aaaa
Don't be a cow......

Dedicated to Jodie Tselepy

It Dawned On Me

2009-05-03T19:41:00.002+10:00

Swirling light misting ground and turning trees to shade,
A mantle of sky that fell to the world and broke the night,
Colours awakening, yawning and stretching fingers,
Dark shadows retreating behind form and flower,
Chill moist air is battled by the advancing warmth
And tries to linger in the grass....
Sound wanders over the land, broken and vague,
To become solid and heartfelt, no longer hesitant,
Small bright eyes follow the patterns of light,
Seeking quick shadows, stealthy patrons of beneath,
And the earth sends forth her scent, the breath of the day....

oh man, it's morning already?

Suburb in Hell

2009-04-23T19:11:00.002+10:00

Hurtling through the aisles,
She smashed her way through amazed stares
Open-mouthed, they goggled
As her hair streamed from her face,
Teeth bared and arms outstretched,
Pounding steps that fought the floor,
She closed upon her prey,
A fistful of the hoody black,
Through clenched teeth, she hissed
'Give me my bloody trolley back!'

Enthusiasm

2009-04-16T21:17:00.002+10:00

Polish the membrane, lean on the right brain,
Here we go here we go here we go....
Push the lush, press your luck,
Make a mark, start a star, hold you up..
Tunnel vision, it's a fusion
Of the intellect and imagination,
Borrow nothing, steal it all
From the mind you have behind that social wall
Fresh and fierce, you can pierce
Liberated, not frustrated, in control, here we go...

And I still have creative block... oh man....

Shiny Thing

2009-04-09T18:11:00.003+10:00

Oh shiny thing you catch my eye, like a cosmic firefly,
The light reflects and breaks within you,
Reaches past and through, continues
Journey's end inside my mind, little thing of desire
Hypnotised and awed, I watch,
You bring to me the smallest touch
Of wonder
I am no longer here, but in the fragments of the rainbow,
And staring at a speck of dust.

Such marvels in the smallest of truths.

Great Dilemmas

2009-04-06T18:29:00.002+10:00

Bring the wine, and hold the cheese -
This is no day for merriment;
I hold the grey skies close to the horizon
And wish the sun to set to gloom;
The rain and sleet to hammer ground
For muddy puddles to be born,
And the cold to gather in the bones.

I have run out of chocolate again....

The Right Piece of Music

2009-03-30T18:31:00.002+11:00

An empty beat, like a broken drum,
Weaving its lazy way through the air,
Limping and careening about the atmosphere,
Till it breaks, then silence....
Hit the bass line, bring it back,
Make my heart beat, make my foot tap,
Got the movement, feel the life lift
Pumping sweat and playing the riff,
Lean and easy, swing into the rhythm
Rips through with teeth
Releases grief
Breaks the inertia, momentum given....

And now I can get back to what I was doing....

Keeping A Straight Face

2009-03-29T21:39:00.003+11:00

It's difficult when you have an ironic sense of humour - because no one ever knows when you're being serious! Online, this is even more of an issue, given the lack of inflection and tone that can only be described by using the punctuation available on the keyboard....

....not to mention that I have a tendency to not use such punctuation....

Whatever....

2009-03-29T20:32:00.000+11:00

Previously I kept this blog for a private sharing with friends, and now I open it to the public. This is an extension of the zeddess blog in a sense.. Here I post thoughts, poems, observation, whatever. This is to share the kind of thinking that goes on behind the creative life - some of it is absurd, some of it serious, but then, you can't be creative if you keep your mind closed..... mind you, leave it too open and things will fall out. '
Feel free to leave your comments; it's all about expression.
Welcome to zed cafe.

Liberation of the Hamster

2009-03-14T20:13:00.000+11:00

Devotee of things of cheese;
It compels me to put forth to thee,
That shouldst thou come to the end of the maze,
That it not be the end of thy days;
Nay, the trivialities of such obstructions
Pale in comparison to the utter brilliance of thy construction -
The very ability to turn around, and go another way....

Membrane of the Stolen Mind

2009-03-06T14:58:00.000+11:00

The inner roads of the human psyche,
Passion blonde and without beat,
Daft and mindless, deaf and heartless
Cannot hear the words it speaks...
Brainless rambling without point,
Solid stumbling through a broken veil,
Unwilling, unable, to measure the moment,
Making noise to cover incompetence,
Shifting motion to distract and confuse,
Aimless remarks that do not amuse,
Attack and retreat, the animal flounders,
The sentient being that never was,
Attempting to present as more,
Insincere and openly wounded,
Gazing out at all who would see -
Punished by only the ulterior motives,
Lust, jealousy, gluttony and greed.

And some things that should not have been forgotten, were lost...

2009-02-22T23:02:00.000+11:00

Pull out a memory from a sleeping bag;
It was no great divinity, only infinity,
But those lesser in mind and heart pursued
Its closeting, to bring
The walls of life closer together -
Don't remember, they cry,
Forget the past and what it has given you.
Yet all great victories and triumphs are found
In the remembrance of the strength and courage discovered;
Inner immortals embrace their history,
That they may live to fight another day,
And yet another indifference to the deeds of their time.
All warriors know their roads.
It is the battles of others we stop to fight along the way.

Pathos of the Inner Child

2009-02-16T03:39:00.000+11:00

I could go and run in a field of green
Or climb an ancient tree.
Find life beneath a muddy rock
Or guppies in a stream.
I could fly a kite, or build a fort,
With soldiers made of sticks,
I could sing out loud of grasshoppers
While to the park I skip.
But no, I seek the darkened corners
Of my little house
With my wireless keyboard,
And my wireless little mouse......

Under The Moon

2009-02-08T03:20:00.000+11:00

Blessed and holy orb, you shine silver light onto my table,
And as I am able,
I give thanks for your magic, the transmutation
Of Darkness into Life.
And at your fullest, when you ride high in the night,
And the gravity of your girth assails the earth,
I am your sacred lunatic.

Now if I could only find a way out of this padded room....

Such dilemmas we face....

2009-01-19T21:41:00.000+11:00

What magical mystery tour is this?
An essential entity of my existence
Has vanished from my perceptual experience,
And woe, I cannot divine its molecular and particulate presence....
dammit, where's my other sock?

Nanna's Hands

2009-01-17T01:36:00.000+11:00

These wooden hands belonged to my grandmother; for years, I saw them stand on her ornamental table, and I was fascinated by their form. When she died, I thought of them as her hands, always reaching out to others, always strong, always beautiful. And thus, she is still holding out her hands to me everyday.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

2009-01-17T01:26:00.000+11:00

Rythym pounds and the drums afflict the senses,
Cold darkncss pierced by shattering light
That roams the gloom, instills the motion
The motivations, the stimulations,
And blood burns in the veins.
Each soulful pain is brought to bear,
The force of the battle brought to the field of play,
And sweat springs forth upon the brow,
To drench the hair, blind the eyes,
Each stamping foot, each zero
Described by whirling limbs,
A passion born of the need to purge burdens,
Transform woes and
Remain undefeated....
And tears of joy are shed in the broken moments,
As the war on the dancefloor is won.

2009-01-09T01:27:00.000+11:00

Ode to my Pencil

2009-01-09T00:33:00.000+11:00

Oh pencil, my pencil, how thou enthrall me,

When weakened by fear and doubt, thou art my lance, my wand, my sword -

From thee, the many magics of worlds unseen spring forth within my hand,

And the doors and gates open,

The majesty of the universe abounds,

And in shades of grey, colours of the rainbow, and all nature's gifts,

We two are ensconced in the holiest communion.

Oh pencil, thou art my greatest ally -

For without thee, my life would be a sad and lonely place,

Mournful, and apathetic, that life should be so disgracefully displaced

By a ballpoint pen.

It's all about cows.....

2008-11-27T00:12:00.000+11:00

To stand in the backyard, on a clear starry night, fresh air filling your lungs..... and then, from some unknown corner of the darkness, a god-awful groaning rends the air as if the very earth is ripping apart from the inside out - your hair stands up on end and you start asking yourself if you should call emergency services, start peering warily into the night while involuntarily calling up every horror film you have ever seen, wondering if you are about to be attacked by zombies, some alien monster or perhaps a cyborg warrior from the future - and irrationally begin looking over your shoulder because the victim always gets it from behind, when finally.....

You are informed that it's mating season for the cows and what you are listening to is the bovine music of love.

Cows making love in the moonlight.